Giggle...Wiggle...Jiggle

Have you seen Fish On, ESPN2's fishing version of Charlie's Angels? Both TV shows feature three very attractive ladies with dubious plots. I can't remember exactly what the mission of Charlie's Angels was all about, but the central theme of the newly-created Fish On is to observe the three women wiggle, jiggle and giggle their way on fishing trips as they catch various species at several potent angling locations.

Attired in bikinis, cutoffs and other revealing attire, the scantily-dressed trio leaves very little to the audience's imagination. Obviously some TV producers assume this approach will attract the targeted audience.

Face it. The main concern of many TV shows is to deliver numbers. The more sets of eyes trained on a TV program the bigger the payoff in terms of advertising dollars, which translates into corporate profits and possibly a huge bonus to the producers.

The formula is simple and clear: Get the viewers at all costs!

Okay, I can understand all that. But let's look at the downside. One of the most short-sighted, dumb things people do is to expose themselves unnecessarily to the sun, especially in the tropics. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, more than a million new cases of skin cancer will be diagnosed in the United States in 2002! It is estimated that nearly 10,000 Americans will lose their lives due to skin cancer this year, of which 7,400 will be from melanoma. According to the American Cancer Society, there will be about 87,900 new cases of melanoma in 2002.

And so here we have the Fish On trio, baking under the hot Guatemalan sun as they fight sailfish after sailfish. (Hey, notice that Scott, the male TV host, and Captain Brad and the crew aren't dumb. They are wearing shirts . . .and long-sleeved shirts much of the time!)

Are we to assume that (1) the people in charge of Fish On aren't aware of the melanoma danger, or (2) if they are, they don't care as long as the viewers are tuned in?

Hmmm.

(Fish On isn't the only media ignoring the potential of skin cancer. Several outdoor magazine covers frequently feature bikini-clad females fighting or displaying a fish! Never mind that inside the publication the editors may extol the virtues of frequent applications of sun block and the necessity of covering up.)

Back to Fish On. You'd think someone on the production team would bring up the subject of skin cancer and would have injected a few lines of "public service" by pointing out the necessity of applying sun block, right?

Subtract a few giggles and add a several useful lines which at the minimum would improve the mindless script.

Dumb and Dumber.

If the above is "dumb," hold on. The first episode gets even "dumber." Impossible, you say? Stay with me.

Okay, the girls are having a great time landing sailfish on the Pacific coast of Guatemala, possibly the world's best place for Pacific sailfish.

Giggle. Wiggle. Jiggle.

But the "plot" thickens.

Now Deirdre, one of the gals, decides to go for a ride with a sailfish as it is being released. Overboard she goes and grabs on to the dorsal fish and body of the majestic sail. Isn't that lovely? My, my, here we have the two beauties, swimming in unison, pas-de-deux. Then not to be outdone, Tara repeats the same event, swimming with another sailfish.

What's wrong with this picture?

Everything!

First a sailfish is fought right to the boat. The exhausted sail has certainly created a lot of attention among other members of the marine world with its explosive jumps and surface swirls.

Including, possibly, SHARK. A shark cannot catch the speedy sailfish, unless it is hurt. Or tired. Or by a sneak attack.

The sail could have bled during the fight, as sometimes is the case with hooked fish. So here you have the lovely Deirdre swimming gracefully with the hurt sail.
What easy pickings for a hungry shark.

Or a pack of sharks!

Thankfully, there wasn't an attack, and probably no hungry shark was around. But haven't we witnessed all kinds of unprovoked shark attacks even on beaches this past season?

These sequences set bad examples because surely some viewers who have witnessed this program may try to swim underwater with a sailfish.
"Hey, if Deirdre or Tara can do that, why shouldn't I swim with a sailfish? It looks cool."

There wasn't even the obligatory, "don't try this at home" warning.

We look at ESPN and similar networks for good, solid, responsible advice, not only in becoming more proficient and increasing our appreciation of the outdoors, but I would think also for safety tips, too.

Shouldn't ESPN2 hire one of the many expert anglers around as a consultant?
Stu Apte, Flip Pallot, or Bob Stearns to name just three.

Of course, I was disappointed by ESPN2's thinly-veiled attempt to get fishermen to watch the program by displaying the three gorgeous creatures fishing. Certainly there must be other ways to attract viewers to outdoor programs.

How about devoting an entire program fishing with a different expert each week: their fishing philosophies, strategies, favorite places and special tips would be of interest not only to men but also women viewers. Certainly ESPN2 must have noted the growing numbers of lady anglers in recent years. The above three experts plus Lefty Kreh, Cathy Beck and Joan Wulff would be great as starters.

I didn't watch the second episode.

I went trout fishing instead.

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